The day is quickly coming....

In my mind I had always expected this baby around 39 weeks.  I knew that due to the diabetes that there was no way that I would go any later.  It was actually reassuring to know that.  However, just casually talking to my diabetes NP this week she said that they won't let me go over 38.  What? That was not in my plan.  So at my last doctor's appointment of the week (I have had 5 in 4 days this week) I brought it up to him.  I'm positive we had this conversation way back in November but I knew I had to  ask again. "So again what are your views on a DM pregnancy 38 or 39 weeks?"  And Dr. Stewart casually responds with, "actually I prefer 37 weeks."  Um WHAT? Was anyone going to tell me about this? Today I am 34 weeks pregnant!!

Now I understand that there is good reason for this.  Being a pregnant diabetic, my chances for late term still born birth increase.  That is scary, and not something you want to mess around with.  But I also know the issues of having a baby early.  Avery was 35 weeks and was in the special care unit for 10 days, never caught on to breast feeding no matter how hard I tried, and it was just terrible to be separated from her for so long. 

My goal for this pregnancy was that we would avoid most of these issues.  I had this grand idea that I might avoid another c-section, that the baby could room with me, and have a more normal length hospital stay.  I can't imagine being away from Avery for 10 days. 

Dr. Stewart did say that since I have such good control of my blood sugars, that it may be possible to go further than 37 weeks.  We can iron out more of the details on the 12th (which also happens to be Avery and my birthday).  We have an NST and then an ultrasound.  That will tell us how strong he is, and how big he is.  .....note to self, stay away from the carbs.  Probably not going to happen with all these birthday celebrations coming up.  But I need to focus on the prize.

Move over Dora...

 

Avery has a new favorite show, Doc McStuffins.  It debuted on Disney Junior at the end of March, and she hasn't missed an episode.  There are mornings when she gets up at 6am, I'm still trying to sleep for 30 more minutes, and Greg is on the treadmill.  Greg used to put an episode of Dora on to buy me some time, but these days Avery walks into the basement and says, "Daddy, no Dora today.  I want to watch DocMcstuffins." 

Each episode features some sort of musical number, which honestly I think is a major draw for Avery.  I even catch myself enjoying watching it with her at times.  But she better not be getting any ideas.  She has been talking about a Dora birthday party for months.  I started to pick things up here and there, against my better judgement.  So no matter what Dora must be cool until at least June!!

 

Motivation

 
I knew from the beginning that pregnancy and type I diabetes had to be taken seriously.  That's why this time, we were sure my A1C was below 6.5 (actually it was 6.3, but who's keeping track) before we even started trying to get pregnant.  That's why this time I went to an official high risk doctor that I've been seeing every 2 weeks from the very beginning.  That's why for the first 20 or so weeks my average blood sugar was a beautiful 100....without any nasty lows to blame it on.  I felt like I had this beast under control.

Then all hell broke loose, blood sugar wise.  Overnight my mornings went from a consistent 75 to a dismal 240 for no reason at all.  And that was just the start.  I immediately contacted my high risk OB, who said to call my endocrinologist.  I was slightly baffled because he assured me from the beginning he could handle this.  So to make a long story short, I have been trying to work with them to make tweaks to my insulin pump to tame the beast, but nothing was working.  So I couldn't take it any longer, I broke down and called my nurse practitioner that watched over me closely the first time.  When she left my doctor's office, I knew that I wasn't going to get the scrutinizing that I am used to, and for some crazy reason...like.  But up to now my A1C has been well below 7 and I felt good with my control.  I really like my doctor as a person, but she is far from a hard ass.  And sometimes that's what you need to keep your diabetes butt in gear.

So Saturday morning I finally picked up the phone to call my old nurse practitioner.  I explained that I was now 25 weeks pregnant and my average was a dismal 200+.  She is amazing with diabetes math, and made some much needed insulin boosts.  Immediately I saw the difference.  I wasn't out of the woods yet, but I felt like progress was definitely being made.  I thought that maybe I could stay with my current doctor and just work off the adjustments she made.  Switching doctors at 25 weeks isn't appealing, either is driving probably an hour to a new doctor.

I know diabetics have big babies because their sugars are not well managed, but I never really put myself into that group.  Who me? I test almost hourly.  I make corrections.  I try my best to be on top of the highs.  I'm a smart diabetic who has this under control.

But today was a wake-up call.  I had an ultrasound to check the babies growth.  And although I enjoyed every minute of seeing his handsome face, button nose, and put a face to all that craziness in my belly.....I also heard the news that I have been dreading.  He is 2.2lbs....he should be only around 1.5lbs.  AKA: you're doing a really crappy job with  this diabetes thing.

Look at his cute little nose!

I love him!!

So I came home and called to make an appointment  at the new endocrinologist.  I also bumped up my hourly basals by another 10%, and ate a salad for dinner.  I will make whatever sacrifices I need to for this baby to not be classified as yet another "big diabetes baby."  But I must also fight the feelings of being a failure, and remind myself how hard I have worked to try and get back in control.  I am going to use today's appointment as the motivation I need to continue to fight for great control.   But it's really hard not to think that I've been a bad mom to this poor baby already.

Blog worthy news...

I can't believe I haven't blogged since last April! I started this blog so that all of our far away friends and family could keep up with Avery.  I am terrible about downloading pictures from my camera, which in turn gives me a reason not to blog.  Who wants to read a blog without pictures?? Although I'm not big on New Years resolutions, one that I am making is to download my camera pictures more often.  Hopefully that will mean one less excuse not to blog.  I will have to overcome my learning curve on my Mac computer.  I have had this computer since September, and still don't know quite how to use it.

And now for our blog worthy news...

Only Child

until July 2012

 This is how we broke the news that Avery is going to be a big sister this summer! It took some just a short time to catch on to what her shirt said, and others a little longer.   It was fun to see everyone's reaction!

I found a version of this shirt on Etsy from zoeysattic.  Greg loved the "Only child" idea, but I wasn't a fan of the characters on the one listed.  However, Erin at zoeysattic was awesome with my requests during the busy holiday season. 

For Avery's announcement I made three separate calendars one for Greg's mom, his dad and one for my mom.  Each was completely custom to them with their pictures, except on each July we had a picture of Avery's first ultrasound.  Making one shirt was far easier and far cheaper!! 

2012 has started out great already with a Michigan State win in triple overtime!!! Wishing all of you a very Happy New Year!!

Spring Break!

I was so excited for spring break, just to take a vacation from the non-stop studying I feel like I've been doing.  On Tuesday Sophia was over so I thought I would do this activity that I saw on  Kelly's Korner  blog.  Someone said that they let their kids play with finger paints in the bathtub.  So I thought it would be a fun thing to do since it is still too cold most days to play outside.  They loved it!!

The proud artists.

Notice that Sophia has a small amount of paint on herself, and my daughter misunderstood when I said finger paints...she must have heard body paints.

On Wednesday Avery and I headed to Virginia.  Greg had to work so he came later the next day.  We were there to spend time with our good friends Kris, Sara and their daughter Izzy.  We used to spend a lot of time with Kris and Sara when we lived in Chesapeake, and miss spending time together like the good old days.

Avery killing time before we got on the airplane.

On our first flight, we had the row to ourselves. 

We flew out of the Akron/Canton airport which is much smaller than the Cleveland airport.  It is much less busy, but somehow I was still stopped for a complete security pat down.  Avery was not a big fan of all the attention we were getting.  Once we were no longer considered potential terrorists, we killed some time playing in the Step 2 toy area.  I was able to pull her away with just a minimal amount drama in time to catch our first flight to Detroit. We had a short layover there.  I had toys, dvd's and lots of snacks but somehow forgot to pack lunch.  But I got lucky and found an uncrustable and banana.  It worked out perfectly.

We had a wonderful time in Virginia just getting to spend time with the Wilson's.  We also had a small get together one night which gave us the chance to catch up with some of our other friends. We even had time to drive past the townhouse we still own in Virginia.  Everything seemed to be ok.  Of course I never think it is being taken care of as good as I would like.  I just need to be thankful it is rented.  I hope that one day soon the economy will turn around so that we can sell it.  I have always thought it was cute, in a good neighborhood and a great location but it is just something else for me to worry about since we live so far away.

The girls had so much fun driving this huge cart around Farm Fresh.

The girls ate at this cute table. 

Izzy sharing her new tricycle with Avery.

Unfortunately we brought our lovely Ohio weather to Virginia.  It was cold most of the time we were there. Not was you picture when you say "Spring break",  but we made the most of it.  We cooked dinner at home, and just enjoyed spending time together.  One day we decided to go to the aquarium.  I was suprised by how much Avery seemed to enjoy herself.

The girls spending some time on the deck.

Avery loved the aquarium!!

Love this picture!

Izzy and Avery loved this part.

Bath time was their favorite thing to do!!

I want to thank Kris & Sara for treating us like family.  They are great friends, and wish that so many miles didn't seperate us.  Hopefully that won't always be the case.

I Heart the Vintage Pearl

I would love to have something like this with Avery's name on it.

I know it has been forever since I have blogged, but I promise I am (slowly) working on a spring break post.  On another note...my favorite jewlery blog is giving away a $100 gift certificate.  I could spend lots of hundreds in her store.  I hope to one day buy myself something nice from her shop, but for now I'm hoping to win a gift certificate. Stop over and enter too....

The Vintage Pearl blog

Not so wordless-Wednesday

This was recorded about a month ago.  I thought I would share it finally.  I love to record her, but as soon as she notices the camera she stops what she is doing to come check it out.